nightime. bike ride. the worst kind of hillbilly festival. water lapping against concrete. broken bike. camo jacket. colouful trainers. inspiration flow. bliss. alone but not lonely. one of the most beautiful things of this summer.
it wasn't actually 3am, but as the hands of my clock turned, i got a feeling i have to get out of my apartment. be surrounded by fresh air only. feel the vibrancy of the city. and foremost: see water. dark water as the sun went down a good while ago. so i cycled. fast. and photographed anything interesting i saw. structures, statues, people, water, movement, colors, just general beauty of our environment. i was so inspired by everything. especially the raw concrete structures of the bridges. they never looked so beautiful. maybe it was the wine, maybe it was the darkness, i dont know. but they were beautiful anyway. i actually got to a point where i just stand there, cars passing by, my eyes closed, listening to Sigur Ros and drawing hair designs in my mind. i have a great idea for a collection i want to do sometime in the future.
here are some of the pictures i liked. please listen to this as you check them out.
this is me expressing my feeling for this day. p.s i love my apartment and my new carpet has taken it's place as my favorite hangout. i just lay here on my stomach. even now as i write. i love and i hate. bye.
wine and cheese. enough said. i'm actually pretty convinced i was born with a mediterranean heart. that just makes so much sense to me. finland is just - ugh. i love it and i hate it at the same time, and im yet to figure out how it can be so. i love so many things about the country, but still i stand here with a huge ache in my heart. a longing for persons i never met and cities i never visited. go on, do it. i know you want to call me a dreamer. i sure am. a dreamer, a dream weaver, a professional dreamer. don't forget there's still the achiever part of me. yo i get the shit done dawg. and that right there ladies and gentlemen, was one of my lame jokes. just thought i'd throw that in there. ermm.. yes.
last night was proper amazing. i cooked a semi-surprise dinner to my friend and went shopping afterwards. i also happen to love my new +/- 1000 track spotify playlist. i thought that would be a fun fact for you, fellow internet person. maybe, i dont even know anymore.
i should watch some of my fav "watch-this-and-feel-sad-for-a-decade" -movies. i feel so melancholic. saying that makes me feel proper artsy. but i need you to understand, im just very much of a normal person. weird, yes. but still normal. you know, weird good, not weird bad, at least i hope so.
i noticed, there's quite a few of you who stumble across this page. as you can see this is like my personal diary-like blog. where i clear my mind, and write general nonsense. it's not for pouring my heart out and writing my every single trouble and anxiety here, you know im just one of those kids who have way too many thought in their heads all the time. i think alot, and speculate even more. endless amount of what-ifs and dreams. anyway, when i write here, i never have a theme or a frame that i want to stick to. i just write my feelings and thoughts of the moment. i guess i'll stick with one habit and throw an amazing tune in the end. you're welcome. i hope i don't bore you terribly much. please tell me if i do. i don't want to waste anyones time.
p.s what does a table and a squirrel have in common? they both can climb up to a tree. except for the table.
so im enjoying the summery and pleasantly warm finland. the town im visiting is nice. i'm definitely enjoying my stay, im actually staying with my two sisters and i love them to bits. i'm not much of an outgoing visitor tho. i just lay on the sofa, the beach or the bed. have a morning run. eat good food. everything summery. well i also went shopping but what else is new.
i was so right about what i wrote before, the "choking feeling" disappeared right at the moment i stepped on the bus. sometimes you know you need to get away, have a mini holiday, but you just don't. i wonder why. i guess that's just being an imperfect human right? it's definitely better to fade away than burn out. sorry kurt.
recently i found myself browsing every damn online shopping site i know. im in a desperate need of new clothes. i feel like renewing my whole wardrobe. i know the upcoming london trip won't do no good to my bank account and it's balance. here and there i feel like my life is finally getting on it's track so i don't even care to be quite honest with you. i'd rather blow all my money on things i love, than save up for the days of retirement and what not. that's just silly if you ask me. i never quite understood cheap people. that's just me, no judging. who are we to judge each other anyway.
next week will be so full of interesting things and changes i literally cannot wait. i can't spread the curtains of mystery too much yet, but im really excited about it.
so i lay on my bed watching disco ensemble performing at ruisrock 2013/ write my first blog entry.
i'm leaving the town tomorrow. i really need to go to a rock show. like i really really need to go.
i don't think you understand. it's not like i just want to go see my favourite band. gigs are so much more.
it's like this state where you have a flow of pure joy, creativity, passion, freeness of mind, everything. it's literally everything.
i'm still really bummed i didn't go to any festivals. not that i wanted to. i mean, a tent with humidity higher than in my buttcrack on a hot summer day, umm byeeeeee. it's just the feeling of missing out on something. i guess it's just a part of this whole "ohmygodimtwentysomething"-crisis.
recently i learned people spend a good part of their time working a job they hate, to buy stuff they cannot afford, just to please people they don't even like. i think i've fallen in that trap quite too many times. first world problems indeed. except that i love my job.
i feel like the city im living in is slowly but surely suffocating me. that's the feeling you get when you've spend too long working without a proper getaway. thank lord im going to london in just a few weeks. two to be exact. i cannot wait. just the breeze against my face while i roam the streets in hackney or dalston is enough. and a few new pieces of clothing. well alot of new pieces.
my loves of the moment:
-life
-disco ensemble
-vans
